Alright, well you are here and so hello. I have made my own site to vent my feelings
that no one seems to understand. I have written them down in poetic style and I hope that you can all appreciate
that although they may not be good...it is my way of expressing myself. So here it goes...my first poem of the summer.
Love
Like a flower it blooms
Created from nothing
Transformed into magnificent beauty
A relationship formed between two people
A friendship that is based completely on trust
Trusting the other person with your emotions
Your life
Your feelings and your heart
Love is something that cannoy be destroyed
It always stays strong
True love will always provail
Between two people it grows
Never ceasing, never haulting
Love never diminishes
But keeps on blossoming
Like a rose
Delicate and fragile
Just like the bond between two people
It needs constant attention
Constant care
And constant watering
The watering being gifts showered down to you from God
You have tp realize that they are there
Or else your water will run dry
Without water your rose will die
As in a relationship
The trust will end
And once it's gone...it will never be real again
Something will always be missing
So remember to water your flowers
For it is the best gift you can receive
Hatred
Pulsing
My blood turns to rage as I slice through a million words...
I hear nothing, I feel nothing
My mind blocks out all sound entering my fortress
It does not achknowledge
pain,
fear,
or love
Only hate
Red crimson is the only thing sought
BLOOD
As thick as molasses and the only thing that will satisfy
EVIL
It's what I've become
I've mutated into an unthinkable being
A mass sLaUgHtErEr of feeling emotion dreams
I portray
I use vengence and reality to further my quest
No one can stop me now
Death is a permanent solution
Not one that many choose
Free will, the choice
Another choice
Anger still surrounds me
It pulses through my veins like fire
THEN
It's gone
The murderous being within me recedes
I am left once again
Feeling lost
AND ALONE
The transformation has taken place
And I am once again myself
Immortal Being
Air is forced into my lungs as I inhale
My eyes are a bright firey crimson
Fists ball and eyes slowly close
An enemy has been made
A firey passion surfaces from below like lava
A volcanic eruption occurs
Hatred is all I see
Red and bright
Like fire it is achknowledged
Breathing increases rapidly
My heart pounds faster
My pulse increses
The hatred continues to grow
To consume
Another breath is taken
Something must be done
My nails jab into my hands as I stiffle a scream
I look down and blood surrounds me
It pulses from my veins with effortless ease
My energy escapes me
Instead of fire, I now see mist
The mist from my translucent tears
Instead od opaque darkness, I see blinding light
I must now walk in the footsteps of my creator
My life has been terminated
Not a thought given to others who care
My nam is called
I come, yet I am now afraid
My life has been taken from me, by me
Now I must pay the proce
The eternal debt
The sacrifice for my sin
My soul
A Shattered World
Tears stream down my face in an endless waterfall
They hit the rocks and are shattered into a million shards of despair
My heart is shattered, my world is shattered
Pain erupts in my soul and shoots into my heart
It burns
The lack of understanding crushes
Not knowing was better, it hid the pain
Words have revealed the truth
It was never meant to be
Only a distant dream, a fantasy
Shielded but not impossible to grasp inside my hand, my heart
It's over now
There's someone else
Someone who has always known but has never revealed
THE ENEMY!
THE BETRAYER!
The one who has jolted my system
The one who has pierced my heart with her scalding sword
Why?
What have I dont to deserve this?
It's always the same
No compassoin, no trust
Just darkness
I fall into a spiral of hopelessness and despair
Waiting for the light
But it never comes My world had been a mirage, nothing more
And now my candle I shall extinguish
The search is over
My world is full of darkness
Never to be lifted again
Stranded
Water is all around
The tide is coming in
I feel helpless
Closer and closer it comes
I can't go anywhere
Soon I will die
Drowning is my only option
There is no other way
I'm trapped
Trapped like a mouse in a cage
I'm alone
No one will come
I won't be saved
The tide draws nearer
I can feel it
The suffocating prescence
Fear is non-existant
For I know that there is no hope
Why be afraid?
It won't matter
Nothing matters
I'm up to my neck in a sea of tears
And soon it will be over
Why swim?
I will end up sinking in the end
I won't be able to survive
I won't be able to hang on
My life has been unimportant
NON-EXISTANT
And now it's over
I close my eyes as I slowly go under
I know that this will be the last I see of the world
The Arms of Love
Lightning sizzles across the sky
As a thunder crash is heard
I cuddle up with my love in my room
We watch it as it streaks across the sky
A bolt of lightning stops my heart
As I get lost
Deeper and deeper into myself
The rain sounds like hundreds of pebbles hitting the window
As I sigh and let out my breath
Hands intertwine as we find eachother
Our hopes and dreams together we play as one
I can feel the thunder pressing down on me
See the lightning as if I myself have created it
And in a way I have
We lay together side by side
Head resting upon shoulder
Arms wrapped around eachother
Just waiting to see what will happen
What the outcome will be
As I stare into his face I see beauty
A magnificent mirage love can be
A sparkle of energy
So exciting and yet so dangerous
Dangerous to be around
But I am safe
Safe in my room in the arms of my love
The storm ends
Lightning and thunder cease
But I never leave
I want to stay
Safe and protected from the world
In the arms of my love
Two Faced
Always ctabbing
Pain that runs like a river
Flowing whenever you are near
It ripples with hatred
It bubbles with anger
I am that river
Calm and cool when you are far
But like Niagara Falls when you are near
An eruption of hatred washes over me
I see you
I cannot forgive
Too many horrible things
I try
But do not succeed
I am bending
Twisting and moving
As the rapids begin so do my feelings
The rocks keep you away
They are there for my protection
For my safety, my guard
The rocks would never hurt me
They would never lie to me
That's what you do
You are the destroyer
One not to follow
Not to obide by
And I won't
The rocks shield
They shield me from you
Invisible
A cold chill runs down my spine
I see...him
He is standing near
As a shadow he exists
But as a man...he does not
Out of the corner of my eye I see
I breath in his life force
His energy, his soul
I can feel him
I know that he exists
Others are blind to reality
Most do not see what I see
I turn to face him but he has vanished
My dream like state, now interupted
I pause and reflect
Was he really here?
Why can't I see him now?
My mind drives me to the edge of insanity
Who was the man that I saw?
Was he a man at all or a figment of my imagination?
A man...yes
A figment...no
When I sensed him, we became one
A connection was reached
Energy flowed freely between us
Why do they continue to hide?
Continue to fear?
Because the world is cruel
It is cold and hollow
Unwilling to see beauty
And now he is gone
Never to be seen again
Never to reappear
The Pendulum
Slowly it swings back and fourth between two points
A neverending ticking is heard
On one side
DEATH
On the other side
LIFE
But where will it stop?
Only time will tell
As it sways between two vast choices it is pushed
Pushed to the side of uncertainty
The pendulum has stopped
It will swing no more
Now it is time for the essential choice to be made
Now is the time when you must make a decision
Which way is the pendulum facing?
Which side is it stopped at?
Life or death?
The truth is revealed
DEATH, is the answer
The pendulum is still
The ticking has ceased
My Drug
Obsession
When you want it....need it to survive
A craving that goes so deep it claws at your soul
The very name cries out to you
I WANT, I NEED, I HAVE TO GET
Dependancy
I cannot live without it
Every inch of my body screams, wanting to be fed
My existance is nothing without it
Depression, suicide and vivid visions
I see when my eyes are closed
The wanting brings me closer to insanity
Why won't someone be there for me?
Why do they have to be so far away?
The desperation is destroying me...
It picks at my open wounds with it's razor edged claws
I cry out for help but no one hears
No one listens
No one cares
Words are the enemy
They only drive me farther and farther away
Why is it so hard to see what i'm deprived of?
Day after day
My soul forces me back into life's harsh reality
The prison, the box
The world is blind, it holds no hope
Love
The things that keep our souls alive
Rejection
Hours pass as I sit alone
I stare endlessly off into space
Hoping the pain will decrease
No one notices the anger in my eyes
The fire beneath
No one can see the person who is dying
Silently inside
I say nothing
Words cannot describe my pain
Hour after hour I sit alone
Glaring at the cold and hollow screen
Waiting to be recognized
It never comes
A snide remark is uttered
Tears glisten at the sides of my eyes
Pain like a lightning bolt shoots through my body
Rejected
I'm nothing
trash
No one in their right mind can see
For hours upon end my heart grows harder
Harder and harder still
Until it is stone
Rock solid and unwilling to love
Unwilling to care
Unwilling to feel human emotion
I black out
Into myself, my safe place
I flee
I am safe
No one can reach me
No one can hurt me
I'm not running
But I am hiding
In my own world, I am free!
Cassy
As a dream she floats away
Her soul has gone to another place
The angels have taken her
Up into the sky she ascends...never looking back
She is free from pain
Free from the anger
Free from the hate that she felt
I cry inside and out
A piece of me dies
It will never be replaced
For she in unreplaceable
She is gone
Death has claimed her
She has gone to the place where we will end up in time
Heaven
My sorrow feels unreal
Her absence seems like a fantasy
She has always been there
A comforting and nurturing soul
One that changed from her true self into a demon
A tortured soul
One that could not change back
We had no choice
It was the hardest thing we've ever done
The pain has now become very real
It hurts
The decision made has opened a wound
A wound that will always remain painful
The choice was death
And so...WE destroyed HER
We took her physical body
Only her spiritual remains
And it hurts
I will never see her again
Never.
